note: i will put back my old template with the flowers and the links, and i'll fix the comments when i can.
oh fuck!!!. what the fuck is going to happen now? when it rains, it fucking shits! god these fucking comment codes are driving me nuts! fuck fuck fuck
- ok people, my trusty readers, raiders of my thoughts: i am going offline now. i now have to go face up to my life. i will be back. possibly monday ONLY if i feel like it. yeah, that's it.
- i am totally unable to do ANYTHING to this log except edit this one farking post so this is it, baby. like it or get the hell out.
- randy's gf really did send him a teddy bear at work! it was so cute, but i'm going to delete that part. actually this could be a lie. you don't really know now do you? do you care? god what a rambler i am.
- yes i want to crawl under the covers until 2003.
- many of you are asking, and i know you give a shit so read this:
ian oops i mean mr.ex and i are splitting up for a number of reasons. we have changed or maybe we just aren't compatible. it's not that he's so bad or i'm so bitchy (!) but we need some space and we need to be friends. we were getting there but now that's gone. unlike me, he has always been very outgoing, hard-working, responsible, friendly and, of course, he's a phenomenal musician. he is also very sensitive. more so than most people when it comes to certain things. and defnitely more so than he gave me credit for. if i told him i felt a certain way, he would say i was lying or not change the was he was treating me. but if he feels the very same way, then all hell breaks loose if we don't jump to attention. he can be very cruel, which is something he says i am, which is totally untrue. i have such an intense ability to feel sympathy and empathy that it is hard for me to read the paper or watch the news because i can become quite disturbed. we had a lot of things in common, but some of those things you shouldn't have in common with your mate. i posted his email about the custody and visitation agreement because i thought it was very well written and intelligently thought out. it was also very expressive. he is not usually in touch with his feelings that well, and email gives you that option. you can sound like a dunce, or be as eloquent as shakespeare. needless to say, i haven't answered him because there's no way i could do it that well. we are in the midst of working things out and all this shit had to happen on our daughter's birthday. yes maybe i shouldn't male bash an individual i'm trying to be friends with. sometimes i don't do what i'm supposed to, which is not good. sometimes i see things though my own twisted perception filter. (it's a photoshop thing, you have to mail order it.) but for all your "caring" and "wondering" and "thinking" you have just completely fucked up what could have been. a good weekend. a nice visit. some work done. some progress. i hope you're happy, because you have no idea what awaits you. smile now while you still have the chance....
posted by y2kira @ 10:39 AM
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