100% y2k-compliant, 93.82% bitch

oh god! maybe i need the lortabs after all. i am out of all my meds, no more pills. i had a fucked up weekend, just wanted one thing and ended up for so much more than i bargained for. didn't realize my timing: i had gotten sick in the middle of jan, but my period was actually due at the beginning of march... i wish all months had the same # of days in them.... 28!

damn i'm so sick. same old thing, only now it's getting worse, and takes longer to recover from. my stomach is just fucked up. this, however, just might save my life. my life sucks and i'm a big fat loser. well i'm not THAT big, but i do have fat on me. but i can't hate myself. i can't drown myself in guilty feelings or resentment. i have to care about myself ... much more than i already do. i have to care so much that i could never let this happen again. here i am so lonely, and feeling so empty, but i am here so there is life in the room because i exist wherever i go (thx austin!).... i can be with myself. it doesn't have to hurt so much. i can have some tea or watch tv, or read, or take down my design website cuz it looks like TOTALSHIT at 800x600 on the computer at work, even though it looks ok on my computer when i set it at that res. i wish my desk was in my room!!!

have to organize the kitchen cupboard and clean them out/ clean out the drawers and pack up the purple dishes. i'm making this for dinner. i saw lord of the rings, GAWD that was cool.

*off to do stuff ....*

posted by y2kira @ 2:19 PM