so i applied for a couple jobs today. had a hard time cuz the fax doesn't give you confirmation and shit.... plus all the storms. oh well.
got a few new ideas for the site too. oh well gotta make some money. having a hard time paying bills.
haven't worked on any of my other sites, you know, the ones who aren't paying me. wanna keep up on that, good chance to learn stuff.
well my day is pretty much over. 9:00 and no dinner. wanna watch the tube but i gave the receiver to ian for the hookup at his "wapatment." (apt. as juju says it).
Should i watch almost famous for a 3rd night in a row?
ok finally sleeping a little bit better. having dreams. flying again too, but not as high... i had a time last night where i couldn't do it. i HATE that. it had started to go away. even in total nightmare-like situations. dark clouds and storms and burnt out skyscrapers all around and i was all above it, no problem. no fear
have to remember to do my exercises. have to remember to ask myself if i'm dreaming. damn damn damn !
ok i'ts
laundry day, and for those of you who know me, you know what
that means. *hehehe
mmm found my man in the box video last night. watched it for a while. ya ever notice how layne looks so christ-like in that video? that was the first time i ever saw him and i noticed his eyes right away. then, of course, his mouth. god he's beautiful. he must be such a warm person. and sensitive. i oughta have someone like that in my life. only maybe not so famous. i couldn't handle people on MY doorstep!
was feeling better yesterday, actually slept last night!!! woo-hoo
but now my nose is bleeding. from both sides. my nose has never bled before. i just had some congestion and went to blow my nose... so i got a kleenex and then there was all this blood. and pressure. it hurts. i don't understand this. i wanted to go to greenville, strangely enough to get sushi and then go to the fish store and get a companion for my eel. i won't tell the eel what we (will have) had for lunch.
{hope to return}
i was up all night again with a headache. the noises are coming from the fishtank. ian cleaned it and filled it more so it's at a different level. anyway the bubbling and stuff comes through the house into my room (somehow) and through the fan, because i sleep with the fan on in my face all night. might be drying me out and causing a headache, too, though. nope, didn't take any aspirin. i feel weak. need more sleep.
and after spending a very dark depressing weekend in my house......
with my house, i do not feel normal anymore. i listened to alice in chains for 2 days, all my faves (LOVE YOU
LAYNE) but not rooster, cuz that one bothers me for some reason. anyway it was in my head all night i don't know why. i just went to the store and i was thinking about my weekend and such, and then it came on the radio. what the fuck. i wish the voices would stop. no i don't have voices in my head DUH! they are in the house. they won't stop. now it's my voice and ian's too. songs, talking, yelling, incoherent shit. is it bouncing off the walls? should i quit snorting aspirin for kicks?
omg- my computer's back to normal. no more lagging, dragging waiting for the damn thing to work! all i did was take out the NEW video card & modem and replace them with the old ones and voilà - presto! eureka!
i'm so wonderful.
now if i could just find a job!
ok so the barbizon thing was kind of neat. the 2 little ones misbehaved for like...oh, the first hour or so, but then they were good for the remaining hours. whew! so we went to get a cappuccino and the store was locked with 900 people sitting in there eating. i screamed "fuck!" and we left. then i lost my phone at a gas station, but it was there when we returned. we came home and baked a cake. i just emailed some pix of zazz to the agent lady, it took almost an hour to crop & send 3 tiny pix (>30kb)...
gotta go!
my computer's so fucked up it would probably take me 45 minutes to play freelotto :(
what's the smiliey for the middle finger? ..|..
fuck my Asus motherboard. it can kiss MY asus
we're off to a modeling "thing" this morning, where the agency (or school in this case) tries to get agents to sign you up, then they can sign you up for classes.
we get to go to Greenville so i can get a paper and some more cappuccinos -yum :()
ok so now i got an updated driver list from nvidia, which installed nicely, but my res won't go over 1024x768 :(
and the cursor lag is still there when i'm online.
FUCK!!!!!
ok so now i got an updated driver list from nvidia, which installed nicely, but my res won't go over 1024x768 :(
and the cursor lag is still there when i'm online.
FUCK!!!!!
ok so here's my latest problem. my computer keeps crashing, and it usually beeps and/or i get the BSOD. so.... after a few phone calls to a tech, i discovered the cpu is overheating. went down there today and it's the motherboard, but the guy wouldn't tell me that. he just had me put all these fans in there and some liquid silver, which is keeping it at a nice 104F, but still i can type four words before they cursor decides to move across the screen. and i've gotta wait for programs to open or close for quite a while. what's that called? hanging? skipping. whatever.
oh and this is after i went down there and got a new modem (which i didn't need) and a nice video card (to replace my S3 that broke in my hand after shocking me), all to the tune of over $200. i didn't need any of that shit. but it will cost about that to replace motherboard & get a duron chip (750 or so should do it), but if i do that then i'll be able to upgrade to a GB chip later on after the price falls a bit. so i might trade in my (lovely) Geforce 400 & standard modem for a motherboard & chip. i shouldn't sweat it too much now. at least i'm online. besides, i've got 21 days to get store credit...
i could barely believe the price list for this month.... i mean last year when i built my computer (this one) the fastest chips were about 800 or 850, and they cost about that much, $800/$900. 650's were about six-hundred and something dollars. can't remember what i paid for mine. probably blocked it out. have to have hypnosis now..... anyway NOW the chips are like fifty bucks
INSTANT ORGASM so you KNOW wha'ts going to happen to the 1.2 & 1.3's, right? ko~ just so i didn't lose anybody AND they've got computers for $299 (amd500 64mg ram no monitor no OS). fuck mine's a 550 and like i said, paid more than 299 for the upgrade parts. shit my kids might get a computer a hell of a lot sooner than i thought :-)
ok so i drove by what used to be a huge GNC wherehouse or store or something, and now the name on the outside, in almost the same font and definitely the same color blue, says Nutricia. why do people/companies change perfectly good names to stupid irritating ones. nutricia. bulemia. diarrhea.
and then i saw a street sign for a familiar street, but with an unfamiliar name on it. Robert H. Guddlewaddy Pkwy. i thought the street was called Old Spartanburg or something.
i think it should be against the law for cities to change the names of streets that are already built with signs up on them. especially HUGE streets and ones that have freeway exits on them. it costs fucking $60,000 for one off-ramp sign. what the fuck happened to Center City Pkwy in escondido? it turned into ted. fucking something somebody nobody knows or cares about who's probably already dead now street. why? i dont' know.
HEY GOVT PERSONNEL LISTEN: IF THERE'S THAT FUCKING MUCH SURPLUS IN YOUR BUDGET, PAY ME
TO DO SOMETHING BECAUSE I'D AT LEAST BE WORTH IT! shit matilda!
just another thing i'd do
if i were president.....
well i've got some kind of problem w/my computer. scanned a fruitfly for this guy on email who's gonna tell me what it is and how to get rid of them when my computer crashed. so i took it apart and got shocked by my video card which fell apart in my hand! (montors are like tv's - they have a capacitor that holds electricity, so even if they're off they can getcha)
so then i find something in the wrong size slot (how did
that happen?!!) and really glad i didn't take it to the shop and let THEM find it. anywayz rearranged a bit and then my modem wouldn't work. as of now i have 2 modems (installed on com3, which i don't even have) and a pci card (part of the modem no doubt) that has to remain "disabled" cuz it won't install from the cd. also, it didn't work until i clicked on "automatically detect settings" (like it's the
first box!!) and then voilà i'm online again (
instant orgasm)... can't live without my cyberconnection for more than 5 mins - heh heh
man the fruitflies are
hungry!!..... does anybody know anything about fruitflies?
please email me with any info you have
i fixed my sink. i am wonderful.
i really cannot BELIEVE Pennie's kid just called here for my daughter. boy, she must be totally desperate for someone to talk to. Pennie, someone i
thought was my friend, told me she'd babysit for me the night before my court date, but suddenly had to get off the phone and said she'd call me back. She later changed her mind and didn't tell me. I called her back (i had to page her at work that night) and she said her boyfriend "didn't want to get involved." now, i understand how it is when you're in a relationship... you've gotta balance your normal life with the needs and insecurities of another person. so, i'm not at all pissed that she couldn't sit for me. i'm pissed that she thinks nothing of me and couldn't bother to at least pick up the fucking phone (like she said she would) and let me know that although she
told me she'd sit, she really can't and i'll have to find someone else. how the fuck was i supposed to find this CRUCIAL information out? she said it would be ok and i hadn't heard otherwise. i could have easily just showed up at 8am with my kids!! what would she have done then?
and on top of it all, her boyfriend is a total fuckwad as well. when she told me she couldn't sit, she did say that if he changed his mind, then she would do it. so, my husband called over there to talk it over with him and
heard him tell one of the kids that he was asleep. and he was rather loud about it too, probably just to be spiteful. you see, Pennie's cat nearly died and she was a rampant bitch to her whole family for a few days prior to this event, so i think he needed to unleash a little steam, and let's not forget he's always trying to find some way to make people think he's the man of the house, which usually involves
demanding respect rather than deserving it.
current prob: what should i do now? i can't call back and tell the kid, "No honey my kids won't call you now because your mother treats me like dirt." the girl's dumb as a stick and would probably twist it into, "mom, kira said you're dirt."
and i hate to be misunderstood. so i guess the best thing to do right now is just delete the message like they do to me and pretend i have no fucking idea that they exist.
PROBLEM SOLVED.
This is an email fwd i got today. I know this is a serious subject, but let me say a few things here. First of all, if you're going to forward email, take out the fucking carats. Second, should't people in oklahoma know how to spell tm's name by now? (there's no "s" on the end). Third of all, i believe in capital punishment and was very happy to hear that timothy was to be executed, until i read his story and was reminded that he did this because of waco. why hasn't anyone been executed for killing
those children?!!
ooooh-oooooo-weeeeeeeee
template design deadline extended
do ya think i'll win?
OH GOD THIS IS INTERESTING
