note: i will put back my old template with the flowers and the links, and i'll fix the comments when i can.
oh fuck!!!. what the fuck is going to happen now? when it rains, it fucking shits! god these fucking comment codes are driving me nuts! fuck fuck fuck
- ok people, my trusty readers, raiders of my thoughts: i am going offline now. i now have to go face up to my life. i will be back. possibly monday ONLY if i feel like it. yeah, that's it.
- i am totally unable to do ANYTHING to this log except edit this one farking post so this is it, baby. like it or get the hell out.
- randy's gf really did send him a teddy bear at work! it was so cute, but i'm going to delete that part. actually this could be a lie. you don't really know now do you? do you care? god what a rambler i am.
- yes i want to crawl under the covers until 2003.
- many of you are asking, and i know you give a shit so read this: ian oops i mean mr.ex and i are splitting up for a number of reasons. we have changed or maybe we just aren't compatible. it's not that he's so bad or i'm so bitchy (!) but we need some space and we need to be friends. we were getting there but now that's gone. unlike me, he has always been very outgoing, hard-working, responsible, friendly and, of course, he's a phenomenal musician. he is also very sensitive. more so than most people when it comes to certain things. and defnitely more so than he gave me credit for. if i told him i felt a certain way, he would say i was lying or not change the was he was treating me. but if he feels the very same way, then all hell breaks loose if we don't jump to attention. he can be very cruel, which is something he says i am, which is totally untrue. i have such an intense ability to feel sympathy and empathy that it is hard for me to read the paper or watch the news because i can become quite disturbed. we had a lot of things in common, but some of those things you shouldn't have in common with your mate. i posted his email about the custody and visitation agreement because i thought it was very well written and intelligently thought out. it was also very expressive. he is not usually in touch with his feelings that well, and email gives you that option. you can sound like a dunce, or be as eloquent as shakespeare. needless to say, i haven't answered him because there's no way i could do it that well. we are in the midst of working things out and all this shit had to happen on our daughter's birthday. yes maybe i shouldn't male bash an individual i'm trying to be friends with. sometimes i don't do what i'm supposed to, which is not good. sometimes i see things though my own twisted perception filter. (it's a photoshop thing, you have to mail order it.) but for all your "caring" and "wondering" and "thinking" you have just completely fucked up what could have been. a good weekend. a nice visit. some work done. some progress. i hope you're happy, because you have no idea what awaits you. smile now while you still have the chance....
oh what a time for blogger to go down.
ok still not working.....
hmmmmmmmmm~
well now i'm getting emails to the effect of: it wasn't me, other people use my computer, etc etc., like i can even believe anything anybody says anymore. mr. you know who is so pissed about all my posts. it's funny how some people can be SO sensitive about thier own feelings, but when the tables are turned, they seem to have forgotten what it's like to be hurt or feel pain ... or feel
anything at all. and if you complain, then you're the bitch. you're stifling somebody's creativity. you you you it's always you. it's never him. you know i feel bad and i will change a few things, things i suppose i knew would be bad for people to read, but the bottomline is that this is my site and i can write what i want to. it is only because i want to get along with certain people that i will rearrange a few things.... because i know what it's like to be hurt. it's not good.
note: first of all, the person who's hurt is the mr. you know who, not the idiot that wrote me the letter. DUH people go away now. next of all, i feel i have to say this: if you come here, take what i say with a grain of salt. if you don't like it, then go away and don't come back. same with every other site. we shouldn't have to TELL you this shit. i made a serious effort to transfer this log elsewhere but it won't go. blogger just loves to fuck me. 
and the comments are down (side issue). i have now decided that i'm not going to take this site down. i have a lot of bad things going on in my life right now and i need this place. i use it. it helps me. it wasn't meant to hurt anyone else or give any sicko their jollies. i really shouldn't have put some things down that involve other people because now they wonder what does everyone think? i think people must think i'm crazy, but then again i am. regardless of that, it's more other people's business if they wanna tell the world about something, not my place to decide for them. so i'm sorry. and i'll be filling up this space with more of my own shit and less twisted tales about my failed interactions with others. ~kira
CONSEQUENCES FOR YOUR ACTIONS, PEOPLE
what does this mean? it means that if you fuck with someone long enough, he will get you back. it means that i don't remember wanting to fuck jerry cantrell, although i could use a back massage. it means that someone i considered a friend told mr. you know who about my rants etc. and now he's all pissed off. wanted me to promise him shit, like i won't use his name and won't say bad things about him. i guess being beaten in your sleep for years doesn't allow you any extra freedoms, or, well, any freedom at all. i guess i'm not even allowed to have a blog because it might hurt someone's feelings...someone who rarely if ever took my feelings into consideration.
it also means that i spent a fucking eternity fixing this god damn template, only to have blogger fuck my java all to hell. other people use the fucking comment counter, why can't i? GOD DAMN i am SO not the queen of css. fuck me runnin'
SO MOTE IT BE~
here's what people do at work
----- Original Message -----
From: randy.west@nstarch.com
To: f.bitch2@verizon.net
Sent: Thursday, October 18, 2001 1:09 PM
Subject: Just between us
We work with Ian and love to keep secrets from him.
Everyone should be so lucky.
Love the web site.
website is one word.
Ian use to carry some good sexy pictures of you.
I know.
He really would not let us see them very well.
and now we know why.
Think you could help us out and send us a couple of sexy pictures.
uh, no.
Too bad u moved out of town because I think we could have gotten into some wild and kinky things.
Really? You had a thought?
If you could send the pictures we would be very appreciative.
Who the fuck is "we" anyway?
I thought the pictures of you on the site were very hot.
There you go thinking again. I thought it was funny when your girlfriend sent a teddy bear in a balloon to you at work.Think you could help us out and send us a couple of her email addresses?
IMPORTANT NOTICE:
This email is confidential, may be legally privileged, and is for the
intended recipient only. Access, disclosure, copying, distribution, or
reliance on any of it by anyone else is prohibited and may be a criminal
offence. Please delete if obtained in error and email confirmation to the
sender.
oh, no way. this email has permission to be legally privileged?
note: randy wrote me and said it's not him. i had gotten a 2nd email after this one asking if i had gotten the first one. maybe i should have replied so that would have alerted someone to this email situation. also, i wonder if he notices what's been sent from his address. i wanted to tell the supervisor so bad, but i know he's had some real-life things to deal with lately and i didn't want to bother him with my problems even though it would have been a logical course of action. see? always screwed by the fates.">
IT'S JAZZ's BDAY!!! WOO-HOO
the kids were all wrapping up presents (consisting of their own video games and homemade drawings) for her last night. i got her some wild ÇLôZ she's gonna love them. gave her the purple shirt this morning with a note
happy bday love mom on one of my y2kira post-its! AH the joys of living with your 3 kids in
one fucking room at your mother's house. *hehe* i don't care - we are a lot closer now. jazz is going on field trip for music. i told her i don't like those school busses. fuck that they are all death traps but she's been waiting, she's be wai=aiting......*hums: chop a line for the man in the back cuz he wants one. YA know YA KNOW YA GOT-TA......* ok has nothing to do with school field trips there (LET'S HOPE!) just always have music in my brain. had a dream about jerry last night. *grin* ok ok, it's not bad, he was a masseus(sp?) at a circus. and i bought him some hard candy but he was too busy talking to Layne to give me the time of day. i know, i know,
WHATEVER!
ok well now somebody farted so i'm off. let zazz check her email from daddy~
note: daddy sent ms. zazz $200, just for the record.
oh hell now i'm forgetting all the shit from last week.. jakie was King Jake for a day. (note: why oh WHY! can't the fucking teachers make a proper capital "
J"??? CROSS THE FUCKING THING! yes yes i know my font on here might not do it, but that's a FONT. your handwriting ought to be a little bit better.)
OK other news:
- NEW AB FAB holy shit i'm amped up for that.
- someone stole my domain (y2kira.com) and put up a crappy casino (don't got there too many popups/registry changes)
- ian's co-worker is writing to me asking me to email naughty pictures to him at work (where ian also works) please someone comment on this crap for me and yes i'll post the letter if i get enough responses
- halloween is coming up and i'm thinking of a redesign because whenever i'm playing with illustrator everything comes out black and orange so i might just go with it
- danelle seems to be doing ok
- my friend moon still refuses to return my emails or phone calls like it's my fault jerry's a bitch!
- a totally unrelated jerry won't return my emails either. but if it took me 3 hours to type a word, i probably wouldn't either!
- had a dream about my friend john. will post that asap (soon as i build the page !lmao)
- new redesign, what do you think hmmm?
- more crap i have to add so i will be changing this post later
a lot has happened since last week and i haven't been posting any of it. i'm debating whether to post anything at all anymore. have to go right now...
the new version of windows media player is a trip!
also, does anybody have a tweakui for win2k?
WRITE ME!
you know it's funny, i was just looking at the new "dark angel" edition of TV Guide, and inside is a tribute to Barbara Olson, famous person from the DC area who died in the plane that hit the pentagon (flight 77 was it?) and it tells of her scathing book "Hell to Pay" against Hillary Clinton, and how Kenneth Starr was guest at her house often. How Hillary actually mentioned her group as "far right-wing (insert something bad)" on a tv show. Then i remember back at all the newspapers before Sept. 11th. They had pictures and titles and even stories that almost showed that everyone knew it was going to happen. not that i think everyone knew, but it was SO eerie going thru the papers a few days after, looking for articles i might have wanted to save or something i circled, and seeing the illustration of biting sharks under airplanes for a column about... what i can't remember. articles about safety, the economy, flying! all kinds of things. business, the president's popularity. i don't know, it all tied in somehow to the events of the 11th, just like that traffic thing that happened to me on monday the 10th. it all meant something. but what i didn't know and the thought of saving all those papers and cutting them out and scanning them etc, i just threw them away. i just had to let it go.
but yesterday, i was looking at a paper some guy handed me as i waited at a red light taking juju to dr's office for ear infections last time, and it said shoot the neighbor's cat. it's about how the attacks could have only been carried out by americans and so we're freaking out by attacking the middle east, and we're also being lied to, which i thought was ridiculous (not being lied to, of course). anyway, after reading about Barbara's battle with Hillary, the idea seemed more believable. let's see if i can dig up the link.
here it is of course, being the pack rat i am, i now wish i would have saved all those newspapers. it was so freaky at the time i hd to put them down. then the next day it wasn't as freaky and i just let it go. feel free to comment...
i went running yesterday to this total cavern down the street. it's like traffic jam, go 100 feet down a path, total wilderness. i ran for about 20 minutes, it was all cobblestones and streams, kudzu and thorny stuff. it was like an army obstacle course! it was great but i got my shoes all wet. jazz said later that her teacher saw me walking home. great! i bet he thought:
what a hag! went downtown for interview, took over an hour to find parking place, there was an anthrax scare and all the buildings evacuated, i got blisters on my feet from walking down to feed the parking meter constantly, and got a ticket anyway! but! i aced all their tests and they seemed to really like me.
put memory in my computer this morning! woo-hoo xtra 256 makes me happy!
my legs hurt. fell asleep watching The Nona Tapes, and had a dream that ian found someone new and was TOTALLY dissing me. like totally started lying and ignoring me, going away and not returning my calls etc etc and i thought
How Fucked! Not only did I put up with your shit for years, but when we split, I made it as easy as I could for you... bought all new bathroom shit, gave you pots and pans and groceries, kept all your guitars safe, let you come over or mostly drove the kids over etc etc, then i let you move back in, causing the same problems as before so then i moved out, and now i drive 500 miles to let you visit the kids and i'm all worried about you and your situation and your feelings, and then you go and do THIS?!!! it's true, i could be breaking my back to ease his pain, and he could just up and forget that we're trying to be nice to each other. he could just start treating me like total shit and there would be nothing i could do about it. then i would REALLY feel used. i'm trying so hard right now to make it easy on him. and he needs me oh-so-bad right now (not like oh baby)... but that could change and once everything's final he could turn into somebody i wish i never knew and i'd still have to go with our agreement. makes ya think doesn't it?
Does Sean really hit the other guys with leather and cologne?
Letter from hubby:
Yeah, Happy Monday to you too. Thanks for the little movie. Where was Juliette? To agree on visitation is hard for me because of the limited scope of it. I have to think hard on this. I can't help but think your lawyer wants me to agree to something I don't have to agree to. And....no I'm not really happy with what you propose, but I will take it if that's all I can get. I know it is a big commitment for you to make the big drive even once a month down here and I can't really feel that I should ask you to do more than that because of the distance involved, but damn, I don't think I like that you put this much distance between us in the first place. I know that you had limited options as far as employment and living arrangements, and that free rent is a good thing, but still.....It makes me real unhappy....Please understand, when I say real unhappy it is not just empty words I'm throwing out. It is REALLY hard to get used to not being around one's children! I don't know how you're gonna react to this, but how would you feel if the situation was reversed? I question if life is worth living almost every day because of this. Sometimes it's hard to convince myself that it is. Ain't no "Oh well, life goes on!!Happy Happy La la la la ". Am I such a bad person that I really don't deserve to enjoy the company of my kids? Is this what I get? I know I have made mistakes, but I think it's unfair. I think it's really unfair. And how do you feel about it? Do you feel "Oh well , that's just too bad for you. You should have never messed with me. Now I'll just take care of what I need and whatever situation you are left with, I guess you just gotta deal with it."? Sometimes that's the way it feels to me. You got a lawyer so that you can legally get what you want. What about what I want? What do the kids want? Does that matter?
got to clean out the attic so we can put boxes of shit up thar~ blechy-poo-o'rama
no i'm not religious, but i was helping these people out before i had to leave town so suddenly, so i figured i'd get them at least started. it needs more work, i know, but i'm taking a break from it and i'm sure something will come to me over the weekend.
just heard from one of my friend's kids last night - seems he wrecked yet another vehicle, fucking himself up royally, and he musta been drunk because the cops had to call the kids. damn i feel for those kids, but i don't wanna get all wrapped up in that. i was thinking about visiting him next year, but lemme just tell ya right now: there are no sparks and i'm not in the mood to fight off a(nother) friend who's trying to get in my pants. god knows i'm the loneliest fucker alive, but i don't sleep with somebody just because they're there. i wish i could! i'd have lots more sex than i do now! (hint ANYTHING plus 0 = more) but sheesh, some guys are just friends. and he's good looking and all. loves to party. good sense of humor. i've known him forEVer, but no. i don't get hot when i hear his voice. there's no chemical reaction when i think about him. it just
isn't there. you know, that special something that excites you about a person? i mean, i LIKE him, he's nice. he's my friend. he's a little messed up in the head from all his wrecks (brain damage a bit) and all the meds he's on for broken parts that are still broken, but he can still carry on a conversation. he's really a wild person too, which is kinda scary, but he's got nice kids. i think he's basically a good guy, but just not gonna be my guy. it's sad too. i mean, like with my soon2B-ex, i coulda been having a good ol'time fuckin his brains out and all, but i just wasn't into it. not like i'm frigid--- well maybe a little with him cuz i really hated him, he hit me way too much over the years and well, sex always hurt, but anyway --- i'm gonna go do chores or something. fill out rebate shit for my cell phone & ethernet card LMAO. check out the young cable guy my mom's hassling right now. *hehe*
note: i'm going to put up links, i swear i am
FUCKING EMERGENCY!
listen, if i have emailed you in the past few weeks, please download THIS and run it NOW!
sorry.....
INCOHERENT RAMBLINGS and other news....
first of all can i say that i love Henry Rollins? i thought so....
ok next... update: i spent the 4-day weekend (friday + sat/sun AND columbus day) at "the house." ya know, after being gone for over a month and going back, i swear it looks like it would be SO EASY to fix up. it's really just a lot of small things (hole in wall, broken window pane, maybe a bad outlet or two)-- yes not one BUT TWO -- then the obvious, paint & new carpet. i bet he could get 160 EASY. hell i could acid wash the tile floor AGAIN and have Wedge do the hardwood floors and WA_BAM! get an agent and he'd be good to go...
ok saw atty on monday. hung over as all hell. god i thought i'd puke just driving there. somebody's tire exploded and shot rubber gas into the car fuck i had to hold my breath for fear of puking on my lovely silk suit - sleeveless black and white wrap, but the pants (size 6) that were tight when i bought'em are like 2 inches too big now (3 weeks later). i oughta takem back but i love the top!!! ok got fucking drunk the entire weekend, after not drinking for quite a while (like several weeks is quite a while for me). now i'm in the habit of needing a beer or two once it hits late afternoon, and i've gotta get out of that habit because 1. it's too dang expensive 2. it's too fattening by itself not to mention after i'm all hungry from being buzzed 3. good things happen to me when i'm not drinking 4. i hate waking up all yucky 3. it's a fucking waste of my time
anyway, still waiting to hear about job(s) ... have one more check coming from the last job. can't afford groceries, but child support will be kicking in after we go to court. i neeed to win the lottery.. oh yeah i bought a ticket last night. better check up on that -
jazz was voted and won an award for (?) being class president. she's also playing the recorder, the viola, in "chorus" (does that mean choir?) and other things i'm sure. went to nature refuge (wetlands that look like the backyard at the house) with jake yesterday. felt like crap and it was cold. somebody told him i'm ugly and he told me on the bus. i swear i felt like crying for a second, then realized i wasn't smiling or anything and probably did look like shit. plus kids are honest. i felt bad for jake though. then i took note of how i saw the kids. there were ugly kids / poorly dressed ones, too. kids who looked stupid or had bad snot in their nose. kids who looked like they'd misbehave. kids who stared at me and didn't think a thing of it. i realized i'm weak and have no confidence, but that i also judge people based on the way they look as well. i'm not as ugly as some of those kids! ...... (sorry, but hey!) anyway i tried to smile more and was nice to the 4 kids in "my" group. each parent had about 4, there were like 20 kids there, 3 or 4 parents and the teacher. plus another class the same, but they stayed separate from us. we walked out into the wetland, which had a very nice deck-like walkway and talked about nature. first thing the guide asked us is "what is this vine?" kids were like "a vine"... "a plant" i was like "poison" yup, poison. thanks dude, after having purple thighs and getting 0.3 hours sleep per night for like 7 weeks and taking chlorox baths i think i remember that shit. anyway, i gave jake my outer sweater and only had on my jeans and black turtleneck. hence, i was freezing. my boobs must have been standing up because the teacher tried to get me to wear her coat! but i said no because my hair falls out so bad i didn't want her to have all my curly red hair all over her. i get embarrassed about things like that. anyway, my group was good, and asked me quetsions and i played with jakie. he wasn't embarrassed to hug me or let me hug him or kiss him. he was really good. we played and laughed and ignored the teacher and guide *hehe* i swear i am SO 15 years old sometimes. by the end of the walk, the other kids were holding my hand and talking to me a lot. jake was rough-housing with some boys but it was all cool. then we had lunch and this adorable girl sat with us and was really cool. jake should get to know her better! we shared food and i traded my doritos for popcorn, but then jake took my popcorn so we played trying to throw it into each other's mouths. yeah after ham samwich it was kinda gross looking in there. jake drank a bunch of milk and did a wet forced burp in my ear on the bus. oh i got pissed. then we were talking about roach eggs and taco bell internet stories on the way back with a mexican boy and he was really cool. we were laughing and shit i didn't care. we were the loudest ones on there just about. then i had jake find addresses and read building & street names on the way back. at a red light he read 3 businesses, but then we took off and he had to hurry up. he read the ISLE CENTER FOR COSMETIC SURGERY as the SILLY CENTER FOR COS-TUME-ETIC SSSS-UGAR even the teacher was busting up. i'm so glad he's a loving boy now. he used to never let me say i loved him or hug him, he would get so upset because ... well because we were mean to him. at least he thought so. he would get into trouble and i'd yell at him or spank him or give him soap. and ian was a tyrant.... holding him down with his little arms under ian's legs--squatting over jakie's chest and holding a toy up over his head LAUGHING out loud as my son couldn't stop crying. .... ok not a good thought HOW COULD I LET THAT GO ON SO LONG? god i swear i tried!!!! i tried to freelance and start getting some money, you know what i got? a lot of competition from people who already HAD a job, people who FINISHED college, who somehow GOT a degree in website type stuff right as soon as it came out. it didn't used to be a subject even ! people who have all kinds of shit, money, time, no kids, no violent psychopath, people who actually SLEEP at night in their own beds not having to hide in other rooms with their gun all night..... yeah i did a website redesign for a dragonball Z page, FOR A TWELVE YEAR OLD!!! a fucking week's worth of work for $30. that's what i got. oh god i'm upset have to go. i'm adding the middle of this anyways right now, the rest (below) is already typed. so read on.... *clicks Post & Publish and walks away from computer as tears keep rolling down...*
ok enough enough gotta clean the attic so we can get the 18000 boxes of shit off my mom's floor cuz the cable guy is coming on sat and she wants the place clean. i guess having me & my 3 kids here living in ONE ROOM isn't enough to clean the boxes off all the couches, recliners living room floor and entire family room floor, but hey, who am i to hand out priorities right now eh?
anyway, back to the attorney, what a mess. final hearing in a couple months, don't like some of the agreements, and the fact she's charging "3 or 4 more hours" hell that means like another $800 bill or more.
gee thanks, woman, nice diamonds all over ya.... attorney said we have to meet ½way with the kids and drop them off to the other person who's also waiting ½way, which, when ya think about it, still means i'm driving 500 miles cuz i still gotta go back home. why should both of us drive 500 miles? plus he's a TERRIBLE driver and has that damn big truck he can't drive that is an easy tipper.... he needs to sell that damn truck and get something better/cheaper... throw some $$ into the house and sell that first thing in the spring. HAH
i told him last year i wouldn't spend another winter in that house, and i fucking meant it. see men, we
do mean what we say....believe me now?
yeah i guess that about wraps it up.
note on friend: danelle went to see brian regan on sat -- COOL!!!! he's like my very favorite!!! her relationship is up & down and she's missing stuff from her house... is it pf & the x again? he was sneaking around and i thought she got a restraing order... that sux major big time. and i just finally got some things out of storage, like my jewelry box and shit, damn i need an alarm or something, i'm so scared every time i go down there i will have been broken into, but it's really a good place tho.
[listening to] in my head: puddle of mud/
control
note on music: seems the same judge who ruled against
napster is now ruling against the music companies who have formed their own association and
software to download music online (for a fee).
[note: i wonder who will be the first to crack it - either make it not expire in 30 days or make the tunes saveable....] it seems they've violated anti-trust laws and will be paying the price. yeah, so maybe suing napster and then copying them ain't so fucking smart now huh? fuck!~ napster didn't even fucking DO anything wrong!!! they were NOT in violation of ANY fucking copyright laws. hasn't ANYBODY out there EVER worked with/for or known a copyright ATTORNEY? shit, all they did was create communications software THAT'S IT. if the online sharing of mp3s is such a fucking travesty, then why aren't the creators of the mp3 software getting their wee-wees slapped? why aren't the cd-burners having their day as defendant? it's so fucking stupid. it's like if i made a cassette off of an album and gave it to you, yeah THAT is copyright violation. i probably wouldn't go to jail or pay the $120,000 fine per violation, but i would be guilty. now if i made five-hundred thousand cassettes and sold them to all my friends for, let's say five bucks a piece, then i'd be in court like
that *snaps fingers* because i'd be making money off the shit, and selling at a lower price than the official CDs or cassettes, and they'd be losing money, goodwill, etc and would sue or probably send a cease and desist letter first. and let's say i used regular mail to send the cassettes out. would the US Postal Service be in court if i got busted? NO. so why is napster ? they didn't do anything. they are like the mail service that i used to send the $5 cassettes to my "friends" in the above-mentioned hypothetical situation. all they did was allow people to communicate. the people who are ripping the CDs, the makers of the software that allows them to rip the CD's, and the MP3 players (hardware), MP3 software, and conversion software is what's allowing all this to happen. now maybe somethings have gone on that i'm not aware of, because i am so busy and do not read or watch the news very often, but from what i'm seeing, there are ads for mp3 players everywhere, Kmart, best buy you name it and personal cd players that play both cda's and mp3's, not to mention the gross
abundance of every kind of software online, whether for purchase or trial ("
astalavista, baby!") *wink wink -- nudge nudge -- swift kick in the ass* .... *dazed look on face* ..... *oooh thinking about fine blondes for a moment*........ ok my point is that napster only created communication software for people to perpetuate the online trading of mp3s, but the actual MAKING of the mp3s is the problem and the actual violation of copyright laws. what's probably so hard for the courts to do is to find each individual user/person and make them pay or go to jail, so easier to go after napster. god they must have a sucky lawyer.... i remember seeing the 19-yr-old creator of napster on some photo shoot on tv, and he kept brushing his nostril every time he walked out for a photo, then there would be a snap, then new angle of the shooting area (empty), he'd walk on again, brush his nose, and snap goes the camera...over and over like 25 times, every single time he was trying to wipe away any remnants of that 8ball he bought before the shoot, god it couldn't have been more obvious. i felt so bad for him, and i thought "damn dude, just say 'hey, wait a minute, please." go into the bathroom, fix your nose, get a Q-tip or douche it or whatever, make SURE it's ok, then go back out and leave your fucking nostrils alone!" but hey what do i know about doing lines?
ok i'm done.
ok so i had a really FANTASTIC interview. and the thing is i got up LATE, didn't toy with the mac like i should, barely took a shower, took juju to my aunt's and then got back here with no makeup on, couldn't find anything to wear, actually changed 5 times at the last minute and ended up burying my necklace in my shirt, then wasn't sure how to get there, so i go thru the 50 maps my grandad left behind in the house, and what? no maps of dc except ones that show a one-inch yellow square labeled Washington on it. oh great, i need STREETS here people!!! -- so i'm supposed to BE THERE at 11 and it's 10:25 so on goes the deodorant and the perfume, brush teeth & lipstick, grab collection of state quarters, print out directions which jam in the printer 3 times, then go out the door. 10:30 i'm at 7-11 buying a map. i drove into town, past the pentagon (GAWD!) got off the freeway and had to turn around a couple times due to detours. made it a little closer and found an empty metered spot. parked and crossed the street. looked up at the first building on the corner to get the address and i was
there, dude!
........as the second hand on the huge round wall clock in a meeting room on the 8th floor of the building passed over the 12 of eleven o'clock, i was sitting there meeting with my new boss [i
hope]. i filled out the necessary paperwork and gave links to examples & urls for them to look at. the other person in the "them" didn't show up as he was working on a rush job.
i won't hear anything til friday or tuesday. they need two (not one but two) people, and i better be one of 'em. i'm going to have to take juju back to school, which means paying for it, but i'm going to tell them she can go ½ day for a while to save some money. i need a job now, but i've still got one check coming on the 15th. for how much i don't know, especially since my x-boss was docking me for everything under the sun, including
other people's chatting, which is one reason i quit. anyway, having some time off will give me a chance to see my attorney and go on a fieldtrip with jaker. that should be fun.
I MADE MY FIRST ASP PAGE TODAY! or, i guess it's not an ASP page, since ASP stands for "active server page" so it must be an AS page.
CORRECTION:
I MADE MY FIRST ASS PAGE TODAY!
check it:
the kids got the playstation to work last night. heavy resident evil all night long, then we went grocery shopping and were GOING to get dvd's for the mac, which i hooked up yesterday too, but jazz brought the wrong coupon to blockbusters, and after having to go there twice anyway cuz i forgot my card, i said fuck it, we'll have movies some other time, which is turning into tonight i have a feeling. yeah yeah run on my ass.
also: quit my job this morning, and sent out more resumés and emails. made some phone calls and have 2 (not one but TWO) promising interviews to look forward to.
